Romance is in the air, St. Valentine’s Day is coming, and men have but one thought: “How am I going to stay out of trouble this Feb. 14.”
Indeed, behaving romantic on Feb. 14 is like walking gingerly across a newly frozen pond. A simple misstep can be like a frigid water bath.
As an example, there is an expat who gave his wife membership in a gym as a St. Valentine’s Day gift last year. Doctors say the scar will not be very noticeable in a few years.
Female staffers at A.M. Costa Rica concluded that anything having to do with the kitchen is out. Mothers will smile politely and accept rice cookers, blenders and similar appliances on their day.
Not so the other females of the species.
The staffers also concluded that anything having to do with gardening and work outdoors also is a bad idea unless the recipient is a garden columnist.
The old tried-and-true St. Valentine’s Day gifts are, of course, flowers, candy and a romantic dinner out.
What most expats do not know is that Latin women are schooled in the deep and extensive meanings of flowers and their colors. This is like Womanhood 101. Pick the wrong one, and there will be an early frost.
The gift of candy should not be accompanied by the above-mentioned gym membership. A clever Don Juan can survive by calling the gym a spa. Women like spas.
Diamonds, of course, are a girl’s best friend, and the local malls have outlets for world famous jewelers.
Assuming that a $20,000 baggette is out of the picture, a sophisticated expat could just choose to take the wife or girlfriend to a first-class restaurant. But he probably should not take both at the same time unless they are really good friends.
Now if she is a real woman, the gift of a six pack of Imperial will do the trick. After all there is nothing more classy than the epitome of the brewer’s art. More delicate ladies might require something a little more top shelf, like Bailey’s or Courvoisier. And, as they say, liquor is quicker.
Considering the women outnumber men and live longer, a brave suitor could make the argument that the women should be giving the man a gift on St. Valentine’s day. Let the feminist mafia chew on that one for awhile.