The gardener’s personality check list

There are meticulous gardeners out there, I know there are. Meticulous gardeners keep their tools sharpened and they know where every tool is.

The tools have their own spots in the garden shed or basement right next to the WD-40 and the chain bar oil.

The gasoline can has a nice secure lid and a nearby siphon. The lawn mower or weed whacker is wiped down after every use and looks pristine. Power tools are all in
working order. Nothing, repeat nothing, is ever left out in the rain as each tool has its own space on a tool belt, while the handles are taped in neon orange, just in case a tool is set down for a moment by a startled gardener. The meticulous gardener sets a task in the morning and it is finished in time for lunch.

I am not a meticulous gardener.

Nope, I am the other kind of gardener. Some call it the lazy, slothful, or lethargic gardener, but I call myself a disorganized gardener. I am the kind of gardener who takes out three tools and comes back with two (yes, yes, sometimes one). I am the kind of gardener who only remembers the chain saw after it starts to rain. My kind of gardener dumps all the hand tools into one bucket and misplaces the bucket.

My kind of gardener never (almost never) washes off the shovel before putting it away (if we remember where away is). We are often surprised when we find a lost pair of clippers in the hedge, now so rusted that it takes 30 minutes to get them to open and close. We like to buy things that are rust resistant or rust-proof for that reason. We lost the neon orange tape somewhere, so we try to find tools with bright handles but that doesn’t always help. We spend a lot of time murmuring, “now where did I put that.” We are easily distracted from the task we headed out to do. We sharpen tools after we discover that the clippers won’t even cut vetiver, let alone a twig.

So there you have it. The A.) meticulous gardener with tool neatly outlined on a pegboard and the B.) distracted gardener who can’t remember what’s where. If you are an A stay away from us, we will drive you nuts. If you are a B, stay away from those other guys. They will drive you bonkers.torleyheader020816

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